My foster mom used to do things that my real mom used to do. I hate my real mom. I really. Don't. Like. Her. I would have to endure things. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. Food was on the table sometimes. Was there a safe place to sleep? Sometimes, maybe 30 percent. I got all 52 cards in my deck, but I know the way I treat people is affected by certain things in my childhood. Sexual abuse? Yea my brother did some stuff. It happened. My stepdad and my mom were fighting too. He was making her bleed. He threatened to kill her. There was a lot of aggression in the house. And they both hit me but here with Ms. xxxx it’s different. I love her to death. Something is wrong and she’ll say I don't feel you on that. I don't dig how you handle the situation.

I’m smart, I just spoke to a few young people; I give them advice on certain situations. Maybe I’m not emotional. My oldest brother got killed, I didn't cry. I just said to myself, this is his day it’s not my day. That's what you learn when you’re from the hood. I’m starting to let people try to get close to me but it’s kind of hard. I’m doing okay. Not too great but not too bad. I’m in tenth grade and I’m on honor roll. I’m real popular, people flock to me. I do my own cooking; I love cooking breakfast, baking and stuff. In six or seven months I can sign out of the system. I can stay with my foster mom past 18 if I want to. But I think I’m gonna take independent living classes. I don't know what they’ll teach me. I could take care of myself when I was 7 years old. What seven-year-old do you know like that?

24-hour facility. Referred by Emergency Response Command Post (ERCP) and 19 regional offices. We have help from childcare workers who are from a private agency MAOF, Mexican American Opportunities Foundation.

I’m from Lynwood. I’m in 9th grade. I came in at 11 p.m. last night. A social worker came to my house and took me. My stepdad and mom live there, but they weren’t there. They left me alone. They were out looking for places to live. I haven’t been in a foster home. I haven’t been in a group home. They said my mom and stepdad physically abused me. They examined me across the street at the hospital, but they didn’t find any marks. I think they are going to put me in a foster home for a few days and then to my grandma’s. It’s boring here. The tag on my wrist is for a medical alert that I use an inhaler. I have asthma. Can you send me a picture? I don’t know what my address will be.

I’ve been here a month. I have a brother whose name is U or something like that. I’m not sure. My daddy wasn’t around. I saw him once when I was 11. I don’t know what part of xxxx I’m from. When I was born my godmother took me until I was four. When I was four, my mother took me back from five to nine. Then I was taken away into the system. My mom abused me. A teacher saw the bruises all over me and reported her. I went to a nice foster home. My foster mom abused me.

Then I went to my godmother until I was 11. I was acting up so they sent me to a foster home when I was 12. Then back to a group home for two months. It wasn’t successful. I messed up the house and wrote on the walls. All the girls in one home went to another home with all boys to play soccer and I went AWOL. I just sat down in the middle of the street so they took me here. I’m voluntarily here. I had a dependency court date last month.

24-hour facility. Referred by Emergency Response Command Post (ERCP) and 19 regional offices. We have help from childcare workers who are from a private agency MAOF, Mexican American Opportunities Foundation.

I live with my mom, just my mom. DCFS took me out of my house for smoking marijuana with my mom. They said it was an unsafe environment. I was in a foster home for a few hours, but I didn’t like it and I wanted to go home so I left. Police picked me up on the side of the freeway and brought me here. I came in this morning. First thing they did was take me across the street to the hospital. My mom wasn’t doing anything wrong. I haven’t been in trouble before.

Level 14 locked. CTF (Community Treatment Facility) and PHF (Psychiatric Health Facility) 56 kids between both facilities.

Around eleven I went to xxxx County xxxx Extended Care. I was running away so much. I was roaming the streets, living in parked cars or under cars. This was all when I was age 11. After xxxx, they sent me to xxxx in xxxx. I kept on stealing and breaking things. I was ANGRY. Then they sent me to juvie for a while. But they couldn’t keep me in xxxx because I belonged to xxxx. I am a ward of the state. At 12/13 I was sent back to xxxx. It’s bigger than xxxx. Then they sent me to Colorado because they thought if they sent me far enough away I wouldn’t run. When I ran I would go to my biological mom. I found her and my grandmother. They would call the cops and send me back to my stepmom. They didn’t want me. I have mental issues. Colorado was a lock down facility. They sent me to state mental hospital for multiple suicide attempts.

My father was sexually abusive. When I ran away I was really sexually abused. I ran with one of the girls from the group home. She took me to a really bad place. I was thirteen and people did horrible things to me. I tried to run away and had to jump off a balcony. I was hospitalized at least 10 times. Then they brought me here. When something goes wrong and men try to restrain me it makes me violent and I try and assault them. I can’t stand men holding me down against my will. When I was here I tried to hang myself on the doorknob. I also ran away—I jumped over the fence. I’m a very open person. Everything I ever had has been taken from me and I had nothing to start with so I have nothing to loose by being open. It’s easy for me to smile and laugh but I’m angry on the inside.

N.R., Age 14.

I’ve been here three years. My mom doesn’t visit—she’s on crack and heroin. My dad is a sex offender and there is an order that he can’t see me. It was between about six and twelve when he abused me. I told a social worker and they took me to a foster home when I was seven. My stepmom was married to my dad. She had a daughter who is my half-sister.

I lived with her from when I was seven to ten—then they got rid of me. I started using drugs when I was ten. I got them from friends. I didn’t go to school. I never went to school. (Director says they can’t be forced to attend if they don’t want to go). I ended up in another foster home for two weeks and there I drank bleach. I was always trying to kill myself in there. When I move to CTF metal is more available to cut. It’s not easy to find here.

E.L., Age 16

I’m a Dual custody kid, 241.1. I came into the system when I was 15. I’m from xxxx. My Mom was on drugs. Meth. She gets SSI and Welfare. My Dad’s in Wyoming. I don’t hear from him a lot. I’m in the 11th grade. At age 15 I was put into xxxx. A social worker popped up at my house one day. It was as simple as that. There she was. I had run away and they found out I was trying to kill myself.

The cops picked me up and put me in handcuffs. I was kicked out of a few foster homes mostly for being disrespectful and defiant. But I gave back what I got. I’ve have been here nine months. I trust nobody. I have very few friends. They have to earn my friendship and trust. Most of my friends are gay. There is a pretty big transgender population in the valley. Was I abused? I don’t even want to say what.

L.T., age 16

They took me from my home when I was 10. A social worker from CPS took me to a foster home and separated me from my home, my brothers and sisters. I just found out I have two half brothers and a half sister from another family. I don’t do drugs. I see what it did to my mom and I know how it affects people. I don’t want to be part of that system. I tend to do well in school, if other people let me focus and there is not too much drama. I have anger issues. I get in fights with my mom.

Usually it doesn’t get far enough so the police are called, but it happens. She wants them to come and ‘talk to me’ rather than have them take me away. My counselor here is good. I see her 2X week for half an hour. They also give me Abilify, Concerta, Prozac and Melatonin. I tried family therapy, but it all revolves around my father. My mother doesn’t like him. He used to come and see me a lot, but hasn’t for the last three months. I used to go AWOL and go to my grandpa’s house. They have to restrain me a lot because I attack people. When they restrain me they hold both your arms and put you on the ground. It happens less than it used to happen.

K.H., Age 14

I was four months when I first came in the system. My mom didn’t have a house, she lost it. I’m here with my sister, but my sister’s now with a foster family. If it works out, she gets to stay.

 But she told me its not gonna work out and she’ll be back to see me. My dad lives on a farm in Ada. I was with him there for a while but my dad’s cousin lived there and I didn’t want to be with his cousin. My mom cleans bathrooms at the Body Works store. I’m in 5th grade.

D.D., Age 11

24-hour facility. Referred by Emergency Response Command Post (ERCP) and 19 regional offices. We have help from childcare workers who are from a private agency MAOF, Mexican American Opportunities Foundation.

The baby pictured has been in our care 20 hours. She is five months old. She just had some food and is going down for a nap. She doesn’t want to nap.

I’m going to the hospital again. They have medical staff here but I like the hospital. My mother was adopted. I use drugs, meth. My mom’s in jail. Don’t know my dad. My mom was arrested so I went to my mom’s friends house. When DHS started looking for me they went to the friend’s house.

They had warrants on them…and they found drugs in the house. Later in the day gunshots were fired at the house. There was a guy in the front yard shooting. He came back into the house and then they found me in there and took me to the shelter. I was supposed to be doing online school. This is my first time here.

E.E., Age 14

I’ve been here 15 days. I was at school, and then I checked out early. When I went home the police was at my house and they took me and my sister. She’s 13. We were at my aunt’s house for a while. I don’t like it here. I want to go home.

U.E., Age 6

Director Rebecca: He’s relatively new. Here with his sister age 13. The sister’s a bit wild and was sexting inappropriate images of herself. When her mother saw the pictures, she beat her up and lost control. DHS was called, the sister was in the system before, but this time they took both kids away from the mother.

I’ve been here four days. The cops came to my house and my mom sent me to my room. Then the police took me and my sister in one car; brother and cousin in a different car to the shelter. I have two sisters. One is in emergency foster care, she’s 15 year old. The 11 year old came in on Saturday. They came in because the house was declared dirty.

J.J., Age 12

Dependency Facility / CS Recommendations

A residential and day school for kids in foster care and CSE kids. Kids with emotional and behavioral issues. 118 kids in residence. About 92% capacity. 80 are foster kids. Some of the kids come in as a result of being designated PINs (Person In Need). About 42% of the kids are on psychotropics. They have Dr. XXXX on staff, whom is very respected and tries to give them the minimum dosage possible. They don’t medicate to manage behavior, as some institutions do. They are very overrepresented with children of color.

They work 24/7 and have a 200 person staff. 45 kids here are direct placement. They define Special-Ed as kids with an IEP (Individualized Educational Program). These are kids that come from CSE (Committee for Special Education). They are usually behavioral issues rather than too far on the autism scale.

85 kids of the 118 now as “Bengals”. These go through a program to help them build on their successes and become leaders.

There are three centers containing “Camp” Rooms in xxx. The City Mayor gave money to support more exercise and sports programing such as double-dutch and basketball tournaments until 12:30 on weekends. If the kids wouldn’t be here, they would be in apartments, playing video games or in the streets. There are classes for audio engineering being privately assisted. There is also a dog therapy room for about 6 kids at a time. The staff allow the video room used for games, but hope to have computer instruction. The facilities were repainted to be more receptive and bright. The spaces are for kids to learn how to socialize and interact comfortably.

I’m almost 14. I’ve been here mostly a year. I was living at home with my grandma. I had trouble with my mother and father. My grandma couldn’t get full custody. I was always looking for a fight. I was getting in fist fights with my father. My mother when to ACS to ask for help. We couldn’t get family counseling because my parents didn’t want to go. I have three brothers, eight-year-old twins and an 18-year-old. My dad works for sanitation.

My mother is a teaching assistant. I’m trying to see if I can get myself discharged to my grandma. I’d like her to get full custody. Someone on the staff gave me this t-shirt. The rec staff taught me how to mix and to DJ. They showed me everything they know. I’m in 9th grade, special ed. There’s no real drugs and alcohol at home, just fighting. There’s a music program but not a lot of instruments. Rap. That’s about it. Food’s good. I get home visits to grandma and occasionally my parents.

I max out of here when I am 21. I lived with my mom and two brothers and two sisters. We have a three-bedroom apartment in the Bronx. Sometimes there is no food in the house. There are lots of roaches though. There is no stability, no structure there. No dad in the house. I started off in school. I ran amok in school. I wouldn’t pay attention and I bullied kids. They moved me from a regular school. I didn’t realize they had me in a special-ed school until I was in 7 or 8th grade. When I was in fifth grade I was in a shelter with my dad. We had moved.

He was in a car accident and got some money and moved into our own apartment. But he paid $1,500 for rent and didn’t have a job so the money lasted only so long. We were receiving my SSI check of $600/month. Then I reconnected with my mom. I tried to have warm feelings for her. I was frustrated and ended up slapping flames at my stepmother. She called the cops. I locked the door. She said I had a knife and attacked her. So they had about eight cops and called like a SWAT team. I was in eighth grade, like 12 or 13 years old. I never had a knife. She lied. They put me in a hospital at XXXX in XXXX. Mom got custody of me but she was in a shelter.

F.N., Age 18.

I’ve been here over a year. I was in custody with my sister who is 21. My Mom is deceased. I don’t know how. I was in Mississippi. She didn’t have no resources to take care of me. It wasn’t the right time or money for her to take care of me. I have a brother in xxxx with a foster mom.

I also have a younger brother and sister who live with my older sister. I’m in 8th grade…middle school. I go to school up toward Atlanta, only about five minutes up the road.

E.B., Age 15

I was in Memphis until I was 14. I lived with my auntie and my cousins and his sister. Then I moved in with my sister. My Mom is in a health facility. I don’t know what for but she has been there for a long time. I went with my aunt when I was five. I never knew my dad.

I was 14 when we went to Atlanta. My Auntie drove me to Atlanta and I thought she was going to work or something. All of a sudden I was living with my sister who was 31. I didn’t like her.

K.I., Age 16

My adopted grandfather made sexual advances to me. They are not really my grandma and grandpa. They are friends of my family, but they are older so I call them grandma and grandpa. They are not really family. This is the best place for me. I will go to college. I want to attend xxxx University to study anatomy and be a doctor.

I violated probation this summer—curfew violation. I was in the detention system. They put me in xxxx Detention Center for two weeks. I don’t trust anybody.

S.U., Age 17 and K.K., Age 8 months

DFCS was mailing my SSI check to my grandma. One day I got out of school early and I saw my check that my grandma was cashing. I just wanted a part of it. We got over that argument. We regularly used to fuss and fight. I thought she was playing favorites toward my brother, but as I grew up I realized she was doing what was right for me. I wasn’t angry—I was hurt more than anything. I was hurting for both of us. I was hardheaded and young. I did a lot of damage to myself. 

I hung out with the wrong people. I just wanted to be grown up when I was 14 or 13. I really thought I would be everything. I have the director on my speed dial. I have trust issues. I only trust myself. I am going to Job Corps, studying culinary arts. I have boyfriends, but no sleepovers. I go home every weekend and every holiday. I resolved a lot with my Aunt and Grandma.

S.A., Age 18

I’m here until 21. August is my “graduation.” I was five when I came to the US. I was kidnapped at five by my mom’s best friend. I was going to school when she came to take me away with her husband and they took me to the U.S. Everything was OK until I was older and she started beating me. Her husband was nice but she would get mad. My little boy is four. I want to get my GED. I am going to Georgia Tech. I want to study cosmetology. I don’t know where my parents are. I never had contact with my parents after I was taken from them.

The people that kidnapped me fled and were never apprehended. They made me dance at a Latino strip club since I was 13. They never asked or looked for my papers. They told them that I was 18. I had a fake ID. I had to dance for money and do other things. When they fled, I went into foster care. I didn’t know anybody. I was 16 when I went into the foster care system.

N.T., Age 20

Adolescent Mental Health Centers

Mental Health centers often deal with dual custody cases within dependency and detention. A child can be placed in either treatment programs, emergency shelters and a variety of other combinations.

Time Out Room where kids can voluntarily go and feel contained or it is used upon escort during a crisis to limit an audience and to process with staff or PT.

 I was smoking cigarettes, doing weed, meth. I have been sober from crystal meth for over a year. I stopped since I was 14. I began at 11 when a friend gave me some and I got hooked on it. I was on meth for three years. I never exchanged sex for drugs. Except last month I ran away from here when we were on a hike. They were making us work too hard and I was in back and I didn’t want to keep up so I just ran. I met this guy and he took me to a hotel and got me more high and drunk.

Now I have a detective on this guy and the police are looking for him. He raped me. Kids occasionally run away from here, from the track or they pull the fire alarm. If I had a perfect home? It would be with my Mom, with no violence, no cussing or hitting my Mom anymore. I would have my dad back from prison (he’s in for murder.) I write to him. I have lots of letters from him.

-D.K., age 16

My full name is named after someone in the bible. I’ve been here six weeks. I’ve been in this room for fifteen minutes. I think it is time for me to come out. It is just a place where I can quiet down. Before this, I was at xxxx—another level 14…but not a lock-down. I was there for a year and a half but I kept getting hospitalized for hurting myself. I was born in xxxx, Tennessee. My parents lived in xxxx, but they wanted to have a kid in another state so they selected Tennessee. They bought a house there but it burned down.

Before xxxx, I was at xxxx. My mom visited me there. My dad abused alcohol, abused drugs and abused me. He raped me when I was seven and kept doing it until I was 15. The neighbors finally heard me screaming and called the police. He never went to jail because he said I was lying. They took me to DCFS headquarters and then I was in a group homes ever since.

M.A., Age 16

I was restrained and strapped to a bed in the middle of a room. They strapped down my arms and legs. They sent me to xxxx’s for 30 days, the 21 days the second time then the full 33. Then they sent me to a group home xxxx for four weeks in xxxx. I started cutting with a broken plastic fork. They called EMQ, Emergency Quick Response team. At night, I would cut with a pencil. I did things like walk out of the group home, with a counselor following me… so I wasn’t trying to run away. I just wanted to cool off. She was calling the police on her cell so I slapped it away so they said I was assaultive. The cops descended—about four of them, all men. They flipped me over and handcuffed me.

I was at a group home in xxxx, then another group home called xxxx’s house in xxxx, for two weeks. I was being unsafe, punching the wall and hitting my head against the wall. I kept running from xxxx’s, it was not a locked facility so they have me here now. They give me Seroquel, Propanol, Depakote. When I was first hospitalized I was in middle school. I would AWOL from there a lot.

M.C.T., Age 13

I’m wearing a tee-shirt that has the pillars of our SCF program: responsibility, fairness, citizenship. I tried to kill myself with a knife. We get therapy like three times a week. A perfect house? Everyone is getting along, working together to keep the house clean.

Nice meals, Family night. We would go out to places and enjoy ourselves. Supporting one another. Now I live with my Mom, Dad, six brothers, one sister two German shepherds and two miniature poodles. My brother and sister work also to help the family. They are still single.

G.N., age 17

Been here for a week. I’m in the observation room. I go to class in the AM and then comes back to my room; I don’t read, don’t watch TV. I sit in the cell. I eat in the cell. I was supposed to come home today, but my Aunt didn’t come. I can’t live with his mother. I can’t live with my father. I’ve been here three times before.

I didn’t tell my aunt that I am here (she has to be notified). This is the longest. My aunt doesn’t visit….she is never sure when the visiting days are.

G.R., Age 14

He has been charged with battery against his aunt. He is held in dual custody. CPS and detention.

My mom would send druggies to my room to pay for her meth. She said I wasn’t prostituting, but a lot of times my door would be open when these men would be with me, and she would be in the other room but watching me through the door. And then I would run away and I would be prostituting to get money for food and for my brother. I became pregnant but I lost the babies 3 times. And then I also nursed my younger sisters. I had a lot of drug exposure. They gave me meth and other stuff at 12 and younger. I would be snorting and smoking. I quit cold turkey—I didn’t want to be like them. I didn’t want to be like none of my family. I want to go to college and support myself. My brother’s in a shelter in xxxx, the girls are in foster home in xxxx.

There’s no talking to my parents or grandparents. I’ve had a few sane dating experiences. I think that I’ll eventually end up with a woman. I find it hard to trust men these days.  I’m really against abortion. I lost three babies. My oldest little sister rammed me in the side with a screwdriver. My baby was 8 months and he was delivered stillborn. I lost the others at 6 months and 5 months. I had to bury them in the backyard because nobody knew about it. I never got medical attention. They all attributed my weight gain to depression. I want to have a lot of kids. I want to have 2 of them naturally and then adopt a lot.

Both me and my brother went to xxxx to another foster home and an old woman named Ms. xxxx and we lived with her. And then we moved because of the abusing going on in the house. She threw me on the bed and I can’t remember where we went next—and she pulled my hair. I have a sister, she lives with a friend because she’s 17 years old. It’s her girlfriend. My sister and I had an incident with a boy; he was my first true love and she ended up sleeping with him. I did forgave her. She shouldn’t have done that. She was the dumb one. It wasn’t just her it was him too. I’m starting to do visits.

The visits are supervised. Like one visit we went to McDonald’s. My mom is bisexual. So is my sister. She doesn’t do drugs but she smokes cigarettes and does alcohol. Miss xxxx is getting on my case here. Kids bully me and call me diaper booty. It means that your booty looks like you have a diaper on. They also called me a snitch. But I’m preparing myself to not be in danger when I get out of here, and I don’t want to be part of the trouble in here. This hope necklace, its just a necklace I bought from a store.

My mom and my stepdad would be hitting and yelling at each other. Then I got brought into the shelter with my siblings. The police brought me in. I came in in a police car. They came and took me from daycare when my mom was at work. For a few months I was in a foster home in Luther.

Then I was threatened by other kids, but they thought I was threatening them. Then I went to my stepdad’s brother’s family for half a year. Then they took me to another shelter, but they didn’t want me because they said I was abusing their little children.

K.U., Age 14